Mindset, Personality, Self Care, Spiritual Direction

Could your car be giving you a message about your relationships?—Here’s what my car’s breakdown taught me

On the fourth of July, I had just pulled out of my driveway to go meet some friends for dinner and fireworks, when the check engine light came on and the D (for drive) started flashing. If you don’t know what that means, it means you better stop the car immediately because something is up with your transmission. Minutes before, I had just arrived home from a nearly 8 hour drive from Ohio with no car issues and couldn’t believe my luck! Thank God I had made it home safely and not been stuck alone on one of those mountain roads in need of a tow truck.

I am the kind of person who believes the universe is giving us messages all of the time. So I saw my failure in my transmission as a message about having difficulty shifting in my life. I took it to mean that it was time to shift into some different roles in my life or become more fluid in the roles I occupied. Let me tell you how I came to that conclusion.

Before I had gotten on the road that day, I gave my sister an energy healing session. During the session, she received an intuitive message about the role she occupied in our family. We began to talk about the roles that we seemed to have just fallen into without ever wanting them, and that perhaps it was time to transition out of some of these roles. This would shift the family dynamics which could be scary. I told my sister about how I had decided at the beginning of the year to change my role with my friends. I used to be the planner of parties, organizer of events, and the one who always sent out the invitations. I finally admitted to myself that I did not like doing all the hosting and planning and it was time to sit back and let others take on those roles. The reason that I had taken so long to admit that to myself was that I had feared that no one would take on that role and I would be left sitting home alone each night. But finally I became so frustrated with people relying on me to organize that I knew I needed to take the leap. I decided to trust that once I let go, others would step up. And they did.

On the drive home, I contemplated the roles and responsibilities that I had taken on in each of my relationships. I could see that I desired more freedom in both my expectations of others and their expectations of me. Who says that I have to be one thing all of the time? Maybe like my transmission, I had gotten stuck instead of switching easily between whatever role was required at the time or in that particular situation. And I didn’t want to get to the point of a total breakdown where I would have to be towed away. Maybe like my transmission repair turned out to be, I just needed the switch replaced. It would just take a mindset flip.

Does any of that resonate for you? Have you felt like you have been put in the role of care-taker, or planner/organizer, or the comedy relief? Are you the one that everyone depends on or maybe are you the one that was expected to go out and “become” something? You may have even taken on the role of being the helpless one who others need to care for. Whatever role you may have taken on, it can be scary to leave that role. Relationships may change or you may question parts of your identity.

Just because you have served one role in your family or your friendship circles, doesn’t mean that you need to stay that way. It may require a conversation about boundaries, but more often, it is simply making the decision not to do it anymore or at least not all the time. And know that it is okay. The world won’t fall apart. Take some time to tap in and listen to your intuition now. What would bring you more peace in your spirit? Are there old roles that you can let go of or new roles that you would prefer to take on that are more suited to your gifts? Whatever feels the most life-giving is the answer for you.

About the Author: Julie Glaser is a healer who creates sacred spaces for people to share, release, and grow. She’s in the habit of being in awe and wonder and writes to share her own experiences and learnings with other inquisitive souls in the process of transforming.

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