Ever since I was young, I have loved a good party. My fellow extroverts are probably thinking, “Duh! Who doesn’t?“, while my introverted sisters are cringing at the memory of their first party. That begs the question, how do you create a party that all can love? Well, of course you can never make everyone happy, but there are some definite steps you can take to make introverted or shy friends feel more comfortable.
- Invite them in person (or over the phone) where you can explain what the party will entail ahead of time and answer their questions so that they know what to expect.
- Tell them a time-frame and give them an out for not needing to stay the whole time. Many introverts can only handle so much time in a social atmosphere before feeling drained. They may not want to appear rude by leaving early, or fear they will be pressured to stay, and so will not even come at all.
- Invite at least one other person who they know and can talk with easily. (Make sure that they know that person will be there.)
- Give them a job or purpose at the party. Maybe they like making cocktails or organizing things. You could ask them to help you in the kitchen. Or if they have a love for music, invite them to DJ the party. If it is game night, ask them to bring a game that you know they are good at. Whatever are their strengths, let them shine them at the party.
- Set up some quiet rooms or nooks at that party where two people can go to talk away from the bustle.
- Include an activity at the party that invites mingling without much stress. Some examples: Silent Auctions, Team games like trivia or bocce ball, or a piece of work that everyone contributes to such as an advice list for the guest of honor.
- Consider costumes or a theme. This might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but costumes often can help a shy person feel protected. They now have an immediate talking piece or they can pretend to be someone else.
Now it’s time to go try out some of these ideas! Let me know what works for you in the comments below.

About the Author: Julie Glaser is a healer who creates sacred spaces for people to share, release, and grow. She’s in the habit of being in awe and wonder and writes to share her own experiences and learnings with other inquisitive souls in the process of transforming.